Saturday, February 21, 2009

How to Motivate Yourself - Success Strategies to Keep You on Track - All of the Time

Learning to stay motivated and on track can make the difference between your success and failure when you are pursuing a goal or dream. When you are highly motivated you find yourself doing whatever it takes to get the job done, despite any discomfort you may encounter. When your motivation is not so high you are apt to make excuses to yourself and others explaining why you can't succeed.

Your job is to discover ways to keep yourself motivated. You may find yourself motivated to take action toward your dreams by a dynamic public speaker or a well-written book, but that motivation is frequently short-lived. Without repeated exposure to the book or the speaker, your reasons for being motivated begin to fade into the background noise of your everyday life. You simply return to your comfort zone.

This is what many people do. They get a big burst of motivation and take some action, but they don't renew that motivation and it starts to slide and diminish. As the motivating factors become less and less important to you, you are less and less willing to put up with any discomfort or challenges. It becomes easier for you to give up.

When your motivation levels go up and down like this you will find it difficult to make consistent progress toward your dreams.

The only true, dependable form of motivation is motivation that comes from within - self motivation. You have to motivate yourself. You have to decide that your goal or dream is more important than whatever challenge or discomfort you are facing. You learn to act in spite of the challenges.

Here are a few tips to help you maintain that level of motivation.

  • Have a powerful why - Motivating yourself to take action is easy when you have a strong enough reason for reaching a goal. A burning desire to achieve something will cause you to take much different action than a wish or a hope will.

  • Keep you dream in sight - If you focus too intently on the steps between you and your dream you will find yourself getting sidetracked by perceived problems and challenges. Try to keep your eyes on the result that you want to create. This will make it easier for you to stay focused on the important things.

  • Focus on your dream throughout your day - tape reminders or pictures of your goal on your bathroom mirror or on your refrigerator. Carry a card with your goals written on it with you at all times. Get creative!

Keeping yourself motivated becomes easier the more you practice it and the more strongly you are attached to succeeding. You can learn to create change in any area of your life once you understand and apply these success strategies.

By Bob Crawford

If you would like to learn more about personal success and how you can learn to manifest your dreams into reality I invite you to grab your free copy of the ultimate manifesting ebook right now at Click right now and you can start creating the life of your dreams today!

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Procrastination - Thirteen Techniques to End It

Procrastination-An introduction

Procrastination is one of the main reasons we don't perform to our full potential. It is a comfortable human habit that is not easy to break. But if you allow procrastination to become deeply entrenched, it can wreck your personal effectiveness and, in turn, the effectiveness of your organization. Here are a Baker's Dozen simple techniques that people have successfully used over the years to beat procrastination. Through application, you can discover which will work best for you.

1. The priorities plan

If you are forced into procrastination beyond your control because there are just too many tasks and so little time, do the important things first. Prioritize and give greatest and immediate attention to the most pressing jobs.

2. The divide-and-conquer strategy

If you are procrastinating because of the sheer awesomeness of a task, the key is to break it up into smaller, more manageable components. Once you start accumulating small victories, you'll be well on your way. Edwin Bliss advocates this strategy, calling it the 'Salami Technique', by which you slice up the task like a salami. Alan Lakein prefers the 'Swiss Cheese Method', which punches small holes in a big job

3. The killer-punch plan

The divide-and-conquer strategy won't work if your problem is that you keep putting off a single task like returning a phone call, firing a worker, or writing a thank-you note. The killer punch is needed for a specific task that can only be accomplished in one hit. There is only one solution: get it off your plate
immediately. Act now.

4. The ten-minute treatment

Take the task you've been procrastinating over and resolve to spend ten minutes a day on it. Afteryour first ten whole-hearted minutes, reconsider. If you put it aside until tomorrow, OK. Probably, however, you'll realize that the job isn't so dreadful; you'll have gained enough momentum to go beyond the planned ten minutes.

5. The bribe-yourself technique

Promise yourself a reward for getting a job done by a certain deadline. Bribe yourself with new clothes, a night out, or a walk along the beach. But don't cheat yourself by accepting your bribe before you've finished for that will only reinforce your procrastination.

6. The post-a-sign strategy

Display a small or large sign at work or home with a message to remind you of the job to be done (preferably where it will annoy your colleague or spouse so that they can pressure you as well). Such a reminder will make the 'out of sight, out of mind' principle harder to operate.

7. The do-nothing method

Do nothing for 15 minutes-nothing but stare at and think about the job at hand. According to Alan Lakein, 'you should become very uneasy-and after 10 minutes, you'll fire and be off and running'.

8. The see-it-all-done approach

We procrastinate when we cannot foresee achievement. Calano and Salzman recommend this exercise if you're having trouble getting started:

Close your eyes and relax... Imagine that you have just finished your project, done a terrific job, and are basking in the good feeling of having achieved another goal. In your vision, focus on every process you went through to complete the task: the details, the hang-ups, the breakthroughs. Concentrate particularly on the elation of realizing your reward. Such visualization, they say, makes any task seem less intimidating.

9. The lock-away technique

Perhaps, as a busy manager, you simply need to isolate yourself from interruption for a couple of hours to get a difficult job done. If that's the case, tell people about your problem and lock yourself away from others for the required period.

10. The monitoring manoeuvre

For those lengthy and seemingly overwhelming tasks, take a colleague into your confidence-not to do the job for you but to have a trusted friend to talk over the task with, to provide support, to check on progress, and to nudge you gently, and often, towards the deadline.

11. The go-public tactic

Motivate yourself negatively by committing yourself publicly to a deadline-to avoid embarrassment,
you'll get the job done, or lose face. And if you want either an incentive for reaching your goal or a penalty for falling short, make a $10 lottery ticket wager with a colleague.

12. The peak performance time routine

Do your toughest jobs at that time of day when you are most alert, rested, and energized. Or choose an unusual time for you-e.g. set the alarm for 4.30 a.m. and work for an hour drafting that difficult letter you keep putting off.

13. Swallow that frog!

If you've got a difficult job to be done and you're having trouble getting started, then perhaps this apt though awesome advice may prove useful to you.

If you've got to swallow a frog, don't spend a lot of time looking at it. And if you have to swallow several frogs, don't swallow the small one first.

By Dr Neil Flanagan

Dr Neil Flanagan
Management Strategist

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7 Quick & Easy Tips to Stay Motivated and Achieve Your Goals

How many times have you set yourself goals, only to find that you simply aren't motivated enough to carry them through?

Ideas and goals are totally ineffective if you don't take action, so here are 7 tips to spur you on to achieving your goals!

1) Firstly, when setting goals, ensure that you write down all of the details. What do you want to achieve, when do you want to achieve it by, and how will you know when you have a successful outcome?

2) Imagine yourself having already reached your goal. What can you see, what do you hear, and how do you feel? Write down the details and fill your mind with a wonderful sense of accomplishment.

3) Have confidence in yourself and in your abilities. Know that you can achieve what you set out to do. A belief in yourself is essential to your success in anything you do. To help you, list all the achievements that you have had in the past couple of years. You will soon see that you managed to complete some really worthwhile objectives, and there is no reason why this shouldn't continue!

4) Know that you will succeed. Use affirmations to convince yourself that you will achieve your goals. Use sentences that begin with "I will ..........." and repeat them regularly. Put notes on your fridge or wherever if that helps!

5) Think positively, and don't worry about setbacks in your plans. If you find yourself slipping into a negative frame of mind, imagine yourself writing that negative thought on a piece of paper. Then scrunch up the paper into a tight ball with all your might, and throw it into the trash!

6) Stay focused on your goal, and don't give up! You know that you will achieve it, even if there are setbacks.

7) When you do reach your goal, congratulate yourself on your wonderful achievement. The hard work has really paid off!

May I wish you every success in reaching your goals. I know that you can do it!

By Jan Malloch

Jan calls herself a "Positive Thinker & Achiever". Through her writing, her workshops and speaking engagements, she encourages others to live more positively, with the ultimate goal of achieving "Positive Happiness".

She is currently developing a number of CDs and DVDs to motivate and encourage people to make positive and worthwhile changes in their lives.

Visit Jan's web site at

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How to Achieve Success

To arrive at the success place, at some point you must work long and hard. This may involve going beyond the usual 8/24 or 5 to 9. If you study the lives of successful people, you will discover that a good percentage of them paid the price in advance. This is one attribute of any endeavour worthwhile in life.

It is usual to crawl before walking, to travel before arriving. Every worthwhile venture requires some level or degree of apprenticeship or tutelage. Ask the Artist, ask the Netpreneur, Ask the Lawyer, ask the Bricklayer. They paid their dues learning the ropes in time, sweat, tears and discipline. If you add entrepreneurship and financial intelligence to any of these professions, the winner instincts will come to the fore. With these, success is almost guaranteed.

In life everything has a price. Jim Rohn says that "We all must suffer from one of two pains-the pain of discipline or the pain of regrets. The pain of discipline which weighs very little will lead to the success place while the pain of regrets which weighs tons will come as a result of failure.

To achieve success, you need to find out what the price is and pay upfront. This comes with discipline, persistence and commitment. It is love for what you do that will keep you going if for any reason the passion dies otherwise you need to have it reborn or move to something new and exciting. However if you fail, you could try and find out why. A new approach may be the answer in order to avoid making the same mistake twice.

Success does not respond to wishes but to definite plans enrobed in definite decisions, through persistence. Ordinary people with no gift of words and little formal education have achieved great feats, accumulated stupendous wealth because they had as their road maps, persistence, purposefulness and concentrated effort.

Depending on your goals and your yardstick for success, the price might be inform of giving up the benefits of years of training, an enviable income paying job or career, family consideration amongst others. What are you prepared to give up in return for what you want? You may have to do what you despise to achieve your desire. There is a price for everything and hard work is still the price for success..


It is never crowded along the extra mile.....Wayne Dyer

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step....Chinese Proverb

Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.. Napoleon Hill

You are where you are today because you have chosen to be there....Harry Browne

Self respect is a question of recognizing that anything worth having has a price...S.L.S

Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence, is the key to unlocking our potential....Winston Churchill

For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world; and although ambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply won.....Lucy Maud

By Nnamdi Uyanna

Nnamdi Uyanna is a success expert and co-owner of the website. For more articles that will show you simple ways to change your life visit:

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3 Successful Goal Setting Strategies That Never Fail

Goal setting is an easy process; all you have to do is to write down what you want to achieve in a piece of paper and paste it somewhere you can see often. Although that this is an easy process, you will be amazed how many people are actually doing this. The lack of commitment to follow through is one of the common reasons people fail to achieve their goals.

Another big common reason is that most people never do what they suppose to do after they have set their goal. You should know that it is what you do after you have set your goal that will bring you to your success. If you are not doing anything after you have set your goals, nothing is going to happen.

Below are the 3 successful goal setting strategies that you must do them right after you have set your goals. If you follow through, you will guarantee to achieve your goals...

1. Affirm your goals every night and visualize about the achievement of your goals. You need to sink the idea into your subconscious mind and at the same time, motivate yourself to achieve it. By doing so, you are constantly motivating yourself into taking more action. Remember, it is the action that you take that will make your goal come true.

2. Take at least 3 actions that will bring you toward your goal everyday. For example, if your goal is to become a real-estate millionaire, the actions that you can take are like doing market research, looking for deals, read to improve, making calls to prospects and many more. Goal setting is not a magic wand; you will never achieve your goal if you are not doing anything.

3. Make a public commitment by telling everyone about your goal. If you do so, you will leave yourself no alternative but to achieve your goal. Some of your friends may laugh at you if you tell them that you are going to be a real-estate millionaire, but so what? Turn their negative force into positive motivation that propels you into taking action.

By following through these 3 successful goal setting strategies that never fail, I believe that you will definitely achieve your goal. Remember, success is about getting things done.

By Shawn Lim

If you are serious in achieving what you really want in your life, goal setting is the right tool for you. I'm going to share with you the 3 phases of Goal Setting Activities, you are about to discover the real and guaranteed strategies how to achieve your goals.

For more information about Goal Setting Activities, please visit:

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Get Your Goals Going With 7 Proven Steps

Are you tired of your dreams being just wishful thinking or unattainable fantasies? One major difference between a dreamer and a successful person is the ability to achieve goals. The dreamer just dreams while the successful person puts their dreams into action. Goals are the blueprint to making your dreams a reality.

Get your goals going by following these 7 proven steps:

1. Determine your goals. Establishing clear goals lay the foundation of ultimately achieving them. Put your goals on paper. Be specific. When dreams are too vague, establishing goals becomes difficult. Have a clear vision of what you want the result to be. Ask yourself, "What do I really want?" Determining what goals you really want to accomplish will make the steps to achieving them easier to define.

2. Make a Commitment. You must give 100% to seeing your goals all the way through. Adopt a no excuses approach. Be honest with yourself. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to achieve your goals? Are you willing to devote your time, energy, and finances if necessary? Are you ready to make sacrifices? Is your dream worth fighting for? If the desire is strong enough, you will be able to stay on track and let nothing derail you. There is no need to move forward until you can commit.

3. Plan of Action. Now that your goals are clear, you must begin to put them in motion. Develop a plan of action- specific steps that lead to accomplishing your goals. It is amazing how many people stop at just determining their goals. Success is about doing, it is about action. Really focus on your goals one at a time and ask yourself, "What actions do I need to do to accomplish it?" Identify the outcome you want, and decide what steps are needed to move forward.

4. Give Yourself Deadlines. Look at your plan of action and determine at least 3 weekly tasks that will bring you closer to achieving each of your goals. If your goal is to lose 25 lbs. in 6 months, your action tasks could be to join a gym, make an appointment with a nutritionist, and remove all junk food from kitchen. Choose your deadline and stick to it- no excuses, no matter what. You must determine tasks and deadlines on a weekly basis. You can also consider what you want to accomplish in a year, 6 months, and 1 month to help establish your weekly tasks.

5. Get prepared for roadblocks. Once you are on the road to success, you can expect some bumps along the way. It will happen, so you might as well get prepared. What has stopped you before? Chances are those same obstacles will try to stop you again. Learn ways to blast the barriers that keep you from your dreams. Turn negative thoughts into positive ones, surround yourself with supportive people, don't just quit if you can't finish a task, read at the library if you are too distracted at home. Do whatever it takes to keep you on your mission. Always remember your best protection is to keep your eye on the prize. When discouragement comes, close your eyes and visualize achieving your goal. Take it a step further and really feel that moment of victory.

6. Get support. There is nothing like the support of a trusted friend who is willing to help you. They can keep you on track to achieving your goals. They will hold you accountable and ask you how you are doing with your weekly tasks. Knowing that you have to "check-in" with someone is a huge motivator. Go over your goals, plan of action, and weekly tasks with them. You can also do activities together. Determine and agree on how best they can help you. They will be your cheerleader- always rooting for you to win. Establish some time with them at least once a week. Let your friend know where you are and what needs to be achieved for the week. Share with them any successes and disappointments along the way.

7. Celebrate the small victories. It is easy to be discouraged when it takes time to achieve your goals. Experience the beauty and victory in accomplishing all the smaller tasks that lead to your ultimate desire. Celebrating the small successes is a great way to remain motivated and inspired.

You will get your goals going by following these 7 proven steps. Momentum is powerful. Goal setting is one of the most effective tools to transforming your life. So take the necessary action now and make your goals come true today. There is nothing as rewarding, exhilarating, and satisfying as seeing your goals become a reality.

Now get those goals going!

By Allyson Spellman

Allyson Spellman- "The Breakthrough Muse" is a life coach and an expert on breakthroughs to success that motivate and inspire individuals worldwide. Her proven techniques for elevating personal and professional achievement refresh, recharge, and renew the way one can achieve greatness, no matter what! To receive her free special report visit

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Finding Something You Don't Like About Yourself - Creating Habits

Finding something you don't like about yourself is usually very easy for most people. Most of the time you don't even have to ask your family or friends because you have heard them complain about the same thing for years. How many times have you heard someone mention, I need to lose weight?

Here's a list of things people don't like about themselves. If you're one of those people that has a hard time finding something wrong with yourself, you could always ask one of your friends for some suggestions. I'm sure they would like that.

1. The need to lose weight. This of course is one of the worst problems with Americans. Most people need to lose weight and let's not forget there are some people that need to gain weight.

2. The need to stop gambling. As more Indian reservations are allowed to build gambling casinos and of course as the Internet gambling gets larger, I've noticed some people with gambling problems.

3. The need to stop drinking alcohol. The abuse of alcohol has been going on for many years. These people have an excuse for why they drink and most of the time it doesn't make sense.

4. The need to stop smoking. This could be one of the most difficult things I've ever seen my friends and family deal with.

5. The need to stop excessive behaviors. For example, gossiping, cruelty, bullying, lying, cheating, stealing, partying etc. You get the idea.

6. Don't forget the dreaded shopaholic. Most shopaholic's seem to have large credit card debt and can't seem to stop this vicious circle of buying and owing money to their creditors.

7. Working long hours or the workaholic. Sometimes this is a necessity but I would suggest that you change your lifestyle if possible. Reevaluate your reasons for working so hard.

8. Religious fundamentalists. People that spend too much time at their place of worship and soon find themselves feeling guilty if they're not doing something spiritual.

9. The need to be on time. This would include people that have problems giving themselves enough time to get ready for work or school.

10. The need to stop doing drugs. I thought by now, approaching my 50s, that drugs would no longer be a problem in the United States, but it is. It's one of the most damaging things people can do to their lives.

There are plenty of things that people would like to stop doing or start doing. If you're a smoker and you seem to shop excessively near the casinos, I would advise you to start with something small and work your way up to the big stuff.

What are you going to change today about your life? Make a list of things that you're not happy with about your life and start making the changes today that you need to create the life you deserve and desire.

By Gregory Vanden Berge

Greg Vanden Berge is a published author, internet marketing expert, motivational inspiration to millions of people all over the world and is sharing some of his wisdom with experts in the fields of writing,marketing, and personal development.

Greg is currently working on a personal development video library filled with great movies on a wide array of topics, like religion, self help and spiritual changes in the world. His views on religious freedom are slowly changing the way people think about institutional religion.

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100 Reasons to Be Happy!

This is an "antidote for complaint, worry, and for those who are depressed." It is not a foolproof or perfect answer by any means, but it works at least to some extent on everyone. It's the art of being grateful and the exercise is simply one of creating a list of one hundred (100) things we're grateful for.

My present gratitude list goes like this:

1. I have the most beautiful and gorgeous wife in the world.
2. My three daughters are healthy and happy.
3. My children are growing and developing so well.
4. My parents are still alive, and my brothers too.
5. My parents-in-law and my wife's family love me and I love them.
6. Overall, I have a wonderful family.
7. The house I live in has modern facilities and keeps me sheltered from the weather.
8. My wife likes spending time with me and I like spending time with her.
9. I know Jesus Christ.
10. I have hopes to have more children.
11. I am free to worship God in any way I wish to.
12. I can walk.
13. I can talk.
14. I can read and write.
15. I can think and have thoughts and time with myself.
16. My five senses work well still, unaided (presently).
17. I can see, not only through my eyes, but also through the eyes of my heart.
18. I live in relative luxury, in freedom, and in a just society.
19. I have two days off per week most weeks.
20. My employer is wonderful.
21. The job I have is both stimulating and varied, and I'm valued for my work.
22. I have good managers and co-workers.
23. I attend a church where people love me and I'm allowed to love them.
24. I have the time to write.
25. I can drive a car... I own a car.
26. I have many great tools that help me live my life.
27. My personal library is bliss; every book hand picked.
28. We have not one, but two computers in my family.
29. I have both the inclination and ability to plan ahead in my life.
30. We have access to seemingly unlimited electricity, water and food, and other resources.
31. I really don't mind washing dishes anymore; in fact, I love doing them!
32. I love Proverbs, Psalms, Ephesians and Ecclesiastes... actually, I love the whole Bible.
33. I can talk sensibly and sensitively to my teenage daughters (most of the time).
34. One day rolls into the next for me; Wednesday's are just as important as Sunday's.
35. I have been blessed to have the second chance at tertiary education.
36. Trade qualifications, knowledge and skill have always been handy.
37. I see my parents at least each fortnight and have a great relationship with them.
38. I've got three beautiful nieces and two handsome nephews.
39. I have a sense of humour (most of the time).
40. Even when things don't go my way, I usually see the good things out of it.
41. I have a wonderful view outside of my office window of a serene operational harbour.
42. I'm living in the present; at the very cusp of time. I'm not dead yet.
43. The part of the earth I live in is such an inhabitable place climate-wise (most of the time).
44. I have the ability and the inclination to love--people and living things and my experiences.
45. I have a telephone so I can talk to people a long way away.
46. I have pictures of my lovely family I can look at; at home, at work, in my wallet.
47. I get to meet interesting people almost every day.
48. Living near the beach--there's nothing quite like the white noise of the surf.
49. There is clean water available for me to drink right now.
50. There is a plant I am responsible for and it hasn't died yet!
51. I have fish oil tablets and other vitamins to complement my diet.
52. I have the powers of self-control most of the time and the drive to improve.
53. I'm a member of a gymnasium.
54. The academic qualifications I have and study I've done have helped form my character so I become the person I've always wanted to be.
55. I can make a unique contribution.
56. I have a positive self-image and I'm thankful I've worked on it.
57. There is work I can do to keep me stimulated.
58. I can feel pain; most of the time this is good for pain is generally a healthy sign.
59. I have a watch, it looks good and suits my style, and I can tell time.
60. I have over three (and nearly four) decades of memories of living; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
61. Being in a western-most place means the sun sets on the horizon with the water in the foreground--that's pretty special!
62. There are plans that I'm making and have made--therein lies hope.
63. I've met some famous people and high-achievers and been inspired.
64. Coffee. I love it, and I can drink great coffee every day if I want to.
65. I earn money enough to give some away to those less fortunate.
66. Music. I really appreciate it. (And I think I have good taste--I'm allowed to say that.)
67. Enthusiasm and zeal for life and learning; I have it most of the time. I'm still excitable.
68. I have suffered loss and have survived it--it's actually made me a better person!
69. People honour me at times when they come to me for help.
70. To have achieved forty years of age... the best is yet to come.
71. I live in times of (relative) peace.
72. I have a passion for cricket and Australian football and follow both ardently.
73. This time I live in is dynamic; excitement abounds.
74. I love pizza, seafood and ice cream plus many other good foods.
75. I see miracles occur most days. Most people would call these things 'normal.'
76. I can rest and take time out to smell the flowers almost whenever I want.
77. Words and their meanings excite me. Language and communication are art.
78. Freedom of choice is something I appreciate and try not to take for granted.
79. I've overcome dependency on substances, for instance, cigarettes.
80. 'Creativity of thought' is a gift I'm appreciative of.
81. I can travel in a modern train any day I want and see the sights.
82. There is a reliable public transport system in the place I live; I feel blessed almost every time I use it.
83. A wife's or daughter's smile... what more could I say.
84. My 'encouragement file' is growing; people encourage me almost every day.
85. Mentors who've invested their time and effort in me--I'll be eternally grateful.
86. Reminds me of Maxwell Smart. I can watch television because I have one.
87. Mathematics. The sense of numbers makes sense to me.
88. The desire to keep growing throughout my life pleases me.
89. Wisdom. I see it in others and others at times see it in me. I love its truth.
90. My family's safety thus far; I try not to take it for granted.
91. I get ongoing education through courses, seminars, conferences and workshops.
92. Science. I marvel at it. It's got be intelligent design.
93. My heart is saddened by some things I see--I'm glad about that.
94. Health. My overall health, whilst not perfect, pleases me.
95. Movies and dates: I can date my wife, and love watching movies with her.
96. The range of shopping centres at my disposal is amazing.
97. I get to be "me" for all of my life. Now that's not bad.
98. I can wear whatever clothes I own; I can also dress myself.
99. One day I might be blessed enough to have grandchildren and perhaps great-grandchildren.
100. I might make it to 100 years of age by God's grace. I'm "not out" so far.

Even though we can't all subscribe to every item on this particular list of mine, it illustrates the important point that each of us has specific and very detailed reasons to be extremely thankful. Where you perhaps cannot list certain items I have, I am sure you might have items I could not list.

There really is no limit to this list when we think about it.

Copyright © 2008, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

By Steve Wickham

Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified lay Christian minister (GradDipDiv). His key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living, and an exploration of the person within us.

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3 Survival Tips to Achieve Happiness When You Are Living With Negativity

What do you do if your goal is to strive to be happy but you are living in a negative situation? Some examples of this might be that you are living with a chronic complainer, an alcoholic, or someone experiencing depression. How about all three? You might even be in an abusive situation which requires that you get help immediately. It is frustrating, confusing and you are probably wondering what you did to deserve such a plight. Here are 3 survival tips:

1. First, if you are in an abusive or dangerous situation, make sure to get help immediately anyway you can. There are people and groups out there who are willing and able to help you. Whatever your situation is, know that it is not your fault. You do not deserve that type of treatment and there is absolutely no reason to stay and endure more of it. The offending person has been working over a period of time to destroy every ounce of your self esteem. You must realize that you have the power to rebuild it.

2. Work to achieve your own happiness. If you are living with a person who is deeply unhappy, it is normal to want to help them to feel better about themselves. However, the only person who can truly help them is themselves. You can give them encouragement, positive affirmations, and support, but there is a fine line to helping them vs. enabling them. If you focus solely on them, you neglect your own needs. If that person refuses to get help for themselves, it is important for you to get help yourself. There are many programs out there such as 10 step programs geared for people living in your situation. They teach you how to achieve your own happiness and how to deal with your environment. There are also many positive mentors or groups who will keep you focusing in a positive direction. The more positive people you surround yourself with, the more positive your situation will become.

3. Work on your inner happiness. We have all heard the quote, What you think about, you bring about. Start a journal and write about things that make you happy and that you are grateful for in your life. Let your higher power guide you to happiness. Take moments of silence if you can to listen to your inner voice even if it is just for 5 minutes per day. Realize you have the choice and the power to be happy yourself.

By Rebecca Olkowski

And now I invite you to learn more about choosing happiness no matter what happens to you in your life and in the world by visiting

Rebecca Olkowski has been a success and business mentor in the direct marketing field for 8 years. Learn the tools and develop habits to choose happiness for life. It's your choice and you have the power to control your own destiny.

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Easily Change Your Thoughts to Quickly and Effortlessly Boost Your Happiness

There has been a lot of talk in the media and in popular areas of discussion recently about the importance of happiness. Happiness is that elusive goal that you don't really know how to define it, but you certainly can appreciate it when you have it. Many people have tried to define happiness as a measure of external circumstances. Money, Car, Friends, Relationships. Most people don't realize that the path to happiness is an inside game. Of course, I'm sure you're also aware that a solid inside game automatically leads to a fantastic outside reality. The mistake most people make, is that when they see an outside reality in somebody else's life, they try to reproduce the outer effects, without realizing that you need to pay attention to the inside first, and the outside will naturally follow. If you've read my other articles, you'll know that I talk about many ways to easily increase your happiness. One way that many people have found useful to do this is to change your happiness set point

One of the best way to increase your happiness set point is to change the thoughts that you habitually think. If this sounds confusing, don't worry. It is actually fairly easy once you incorporate some simple habits into your daily life. Long term success is all about what you set up to do today, on a regular basis, so that your future will automatically come pre delivered the way you want it.

The first step in changing your habitual thoughts is to become aware of them. Most people amble through life, day after day, thinking the same thoughts over and over without really being aware of them. Because the brain is not only incredibly fast, but also incredibly efficient, there are thousands of thoughts that happen below the threshold of conscious awareness.

For example, when I was a kid, I was out riding my bike. I saw a big scary dog, that growled at me and showed me his big white sharp teeth, dripping with saliva he was no doubt hoping to use to digest my bones after he ate me. The standoff lasted for only a few seconds, but in my childhood mind, it seemed like an eternity. Now when I see a dog, my brain immediately notices that there is a dog in front of me. It then sorts through all my memories of dogs to determine the appropriate emotional response. When it finds that memory I described above, it comes back with the emotion of scary, danger, run away. This all happens so quickly that when I see a dog today, I seemingly immediately only notice a feeling of anxiety. I'm not aware that my brain is doing all that searching and deciding.

It's only when I unpack that memory, and do some basic memory operation procedures to detach the unpleasantness from that memory of the dog from my current experience, that I can see a dog and feel a sense of happiness and safety, rather than anxiety and fear.

One way to look at your happiness set point is the sum total of your automatic responses to the environment that you encounter on a regular basis. If you are deathly afraid of snakes, and your next door neighbor has a pet boa constrictor that he takes out for a walk the same time as you every morning, you are not going to have a particularly high happiness set point.

What can be helpful, is to go back in time, in your mind, and change whatever memory is there that your brain uses as a reference to tell you to be afraid of snakes.

It sounds really bizarre, but it is pretty simple, and kind of fun when you can learn to do it fairly quickly. Here's how I did it with my dog memory.

First thing I did was to go back and find the first memory of the dog. Because this can take some time, it may be the most cumbersome step. More practice will yield more memory dexterity, so don't worry.

Next you tweak the heck out of the memory, so it doesn't bother you any more. One way to do this, is to relive it, but change certain aspects of it. Like you can view it dissociated. That means that instead of being "in" the memory, I am actually watching myself have a showdown with the dog. And every time I relive that memory, I can change it. Like I can make the dog really small, with clown shoes on. Or I can make the dog dripping purple kool aid instead of child digesting saliva. Or I can have a flea circus performing on the dog's back, complete with trapeze and the tiny clown fleas getting out of the even tinier clown flea VW bug.

And on top of all the above tricks, you can play the memory backwards, forwards, stuttered, black and white. You can even make the dog a person dressed in a dog costume. And the whole time I am doing this, I can imagine my adult self standing behind my child self, with my steady adult hand on my child shoulder, telling him how funny that dog looks.

I only had to do this a few times, before that memory lost it's bite. (sorry.) And when you begin to go through your daily life, and systematically dig up and change memories that are giving you trouble, you can really start to raise up your happiness set point. Imagine what life will be like when ordinary objects that you see every day can give you feelings of hope and happiness instead of fear and anxiety.

After all, they are your thoughts. You can think them any way you want to.

By George Hutton

George Hutton is a widely read author and blogger who writes inspirational and life changing articles. You can join many others who read daily at

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The 10 Steps to Learning From Your Past Mistakes

I've written before about how I strongly believe that in life you should have no regrets. Quite simply you cannot change what has gone before so why waste time regretting what you cannot alter? But that's not to say that you should ignore the things you have done in the past that went wrong or those occasions when you made mistakes. Instead you should always be prepared to learn from them and so take something positive from all of your experiences.

So I'm going to ask you to look back, just for a moment. Bring to mind something from your past where things went wrong or you believe you made a mistake or failed to achieve what you wanted to do. It may even be that something continues to play on your mind and so possibly prevents you from doing today the things that you really desire. You may have to go back to your childhood or it could just as easily be something that happened in the last week that it is still really bugging you.

Whatever it is be open and honest with yourself and then follow these 10 simple steps:

Step 1

Write down exactly what happened with as much detail as you can. Be precise and try not to let any feelings you have about the incident cause you to edit or leave out important facts.

Step 2

Define what part you had in the incident. What actions did you take, were they deliberate acts, or were they things you were persuaded or even forced to do by someone else?

Step 3

Define who else was involved and what they actually did. It's important to be completely honest and, for instance, identify whether someone may have prevented you from doing something or perhaps tried to stop you from taking a particular course of action.

Step 4

Ask yourself truthfully what you could have done differently that would have resulted in a better outcome. Be thorough because it may only be a little thing but it could make all the difference in the future.

Step 5

Identify what anyone else involved could have done differently and what you could have done to help them to do so. Be prepared to admit where you were at fault including by maybe just standing by and letting something happen.

Step 6

Define what the best outcome would have been for everyone concerned.

Step 7

Having followed the steps so far, now write a plan for how you would achieve the desired outcome in the event of the incident occurring today. Be clear and concise in the steps you would take and how you would interact with anyone else involved.

Step 8

Write a list of all the things you have learned by carrying out this exercise. Once again you must ensure you are honest with yourself and don't ignore things that might be less then palatable to you.

Step 9

Identify how the things you have learned can help you to achieve the goals you have and what additional things you need. Establish clearly what you have learned about your strengths and weaknesses and how you can act upon them.

Step 10

Write a clear plan as to what you are going to do in order to put to use what you have learned. Only by setting and following well thought out, well-planned, and written goals will you achieve what you want in life.

We all make mistakes and get things wrong but by having a genuine desire to learn from the events in the past you can truly take advantage and move forward. Don't let the mistakes of your past spoil your future.

By Tony Hall

This article was written by Tony Hall who runs his own business dedicated to helping individuals develop their personal and business skills. You can learn more about how to develop your own life skills and get your complimentary copy of "The Process of Success" by signing up for his weekly newsletter at:

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5 Tips For Building Self Confidence

Almost everyone wants to build more self confidence. Self confidence is like a bank account, you need to make regular deposits into it to keep it growing. Here are 5 great tips that you can start using immediately; I know they work because they have worked for me over the years.

1. Focus on your strengths. Self confidence means freedom from self-doubt. People who have a lot of self confidence focus on what their strengths are, not on what they can't do. Everyone has weaknesses, but the difference is the not everyone dwells on them. Make a list of your strengths today and focus on things you do well.

2. Set goals. Having achievable goals is a quick way to become more self confident. Having goals gives you a sense of purpose and by achieving those goals over time you will gain self confidence. If you don't have written goals, start today. There are many great programs on goal setting available in bookstores or available online.

3. Smile. It is a fact that you can't feel depressed when you are smiling. In fact in one study done a group of people who were depressed were told to smile in a mirror for only a few minutes a day. The results were amazing. Most of the people improved how they felt.

4. Change your posture. Picture in your mind someone who looks depressed. That pictures likely shows someone who has hunched over shoulders and a sad expression on their face. Now picture someone who has a high level of self confidence. That picture probably shows someone sitting straight up and a bright smile on their face. Just by changing your posture you can improve your emotional state.

5. Be Grateful. Being in a state of gratefulness is another way to build self-confidence. Everyone, no matter how bad their situation can find something to be grateful for in their lives. By being grateful and focusing on the good things in your life you can improve your outlook. Spend some time every morning when you wake up being grateful for what you have, and your whole day will go better.

As you can see building self confidence comes down to your mind and how you think. Having all the self confidence you want is within you right now, if you just change the way you think. Start today and use at least one of these tips and you will see and feel a difference in your life.

By Nickolas Carroll

Visit here to learn about Getting More Self Confidence.

Also be sure to visit my blog about Building Self Confidence.

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Mind Control Tricks - 3 Simple Mind Control Tricks to Persuade Anyone

What exactly are mind control tricks? Well, these are ways you can help persuade, convince and get people to think a certain way by using subtle movements or saying certain words.

Don't be misguided though. Mind control tricks don't have anything to do with magic although they produce astonishing results. These can be used to further advance your interests in business or in your personal life. If you want to know some of these techniques, read on!

Mind Control Tricks # 1: Reverse Psychology

Reverse psychology is one of the oldest mind control techniques in the book. You can use it practically in any situation.

Reverse psychology means saying or doing something contrary to what you really want to happen, and then waiting for the other person to take the bait and oppose you, thus making them say or do exactly what you want to.

Mind Control Tricks # 2: Call A Friend

If you want to persuade someone to do something or agree to your idea, you can always call a friend or someone who's more credible to support you.

People are programmed to think that popular opinion is more or less the right opinion. So if you want your friend to join you on an activity and they're a little hesitant, you can get other friends to back you up.

Mind Control Tricks # 3: Always Be Positive

People tend to react negatively when you use negative words like "cannot" or "do not." In order to subtly persuade people to see things your way, focus on the more positive points of your case and use more words like "can." In this day and age, people want to hear more positive things.

Mind control tricks are not at all unethical and people who use them aren't immoral. They just know the way the mind works and use this knowledge to the best of their advantage.

By Michael Lee

Want to easily use mind control tricks to change people's behaviors and influence anyone to your way of thinking? Then get my FREE course that reveals groundbreaking persuasion and mind control secrets at

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How to Cultivate Social Relationships

To achieve a high level of joy and happiness in life, we must be socially involved with people. This involves getting along well with others, having friends and companions, and offering help to those who need it. We are all part of a social environment, and our social environment provides us with many opportunities for fun, excitement, enjoyment, charity, and love. Indeed, one of the most rewarding things you can do is to reach out to others-to connect with others on a heartfelt level.

Involvement with others, however, can also bring pain. You can experience hurt feelings, anger, character attacks, job loss, sadness, and loneliness. But you can use your Conquering Force to maximize the rewards and minimize the frustrations and pain. Achieving success in the social area of your life is the art of learning to interact with others and care about them-and their needs-while they care for you- and your needs. When you have social success, you experience an inner peace and happiness. You gain an incredible sense of value, while discovering how rewarding it is to be a caring and giving person.

When I ask people what being social means to them, they often respond that it means getting together with friends more frequently or making new friends-often including attending parties and other fun-filled events. The more socially skilled people will also mention such things as being involved in the PTA or service organizations like the Lions Club or Rotary International. But there is more-much more.

Being meaningfully involved with other people provides a veritable banquet of wonderful heart-to-heart experiences. There was time when I didn't maximize the benefits that are out there to be enjoyed. The social area of my life has also become financially profitable for me-as it can be for you. In one instance, as a direct result of being involved socially, I brought in more than a million dollars to my company.

If you are not already a social individual, I encourage you to become one very quickly. You should enjoy and be enjoyed; love and be loved. Doing this is quite easy once you have the formula for social success, and it will help you enjoy greater success in other areas-ultimately influencing how much you earn, the services you receive or render, where you live, and with whom you work.

If you are seen as a great person to work with or be around, you tend to receive better service, earn more money, get promoted faster, and in general get along better. It is important that you learn the social skills that can make you this kind of person. It can be as easy as trying to improve the life experience of those who struggle by showing them a better way to be-by word and example. If they aren't receptive, move on.

Everyone knows people who are difficult to be around. They are negative, pessimistic, easily angered, or arrogant. They whine, complain, and blame. These are the people who are not open to change or growth. Because they are unwilling to progress emotionally or socially, they stay stuck and don't enjoy life.

By Jack A Zufelt

To help you understand the different places where your social success lies, I have identified four areas of social importance.
By Jack M. Zufelt
"Mentor To Millions

Jack M. Zufelt is a bestselling author and has achieved worldwide recognition for teaching people the true cause of all achievement. His life's mission is to impart the truth about-and dispel the myths surrounding-success and achievement.

Want to achieve better results?

How about live a fuller life with more happiness, joy, and satisfaction? Discover Jack's DNA of Success and live the life you've always wanted...

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How to Politely Say No

I was at a meeting seated one row in front of Lyn, a trainer/consultant with a lot of clout at the host company. She knows the ins and outs of the company including every little tittle and nuance. She notices everything and everybody. There's not much that gets past her.

I was immediately drawn to Lyn because she carried herself like a lady. Her positive, thoughtful and considerate comments were charming, modest and made everyone feel at ease. She struck me as a master negotiator because she has an almost hypnotic ability to persuade you to let your guard down. She pounded you with kindness.

When I spoke with Jacqueline, a close associate of Lyn's, she claims, "It's almost impossible to turn Lyn down." That says it all. I knew she was right. I had to keep my distance because Lyn was constantly searching for volunteers to serve at her company's programs.

Do you need to keep your distance?

One of the most important strategies that will save you time, headaches and your sanity is knowing how to kindly and politely say "no." Saying "yes" is easy. There are no hurt feelings. Everyone is happy. Except, maybe you.

Here's how to avoid this insanity...

1) Become a frugal time merchant. This is not about buying or selling your time. I'm suggesting deliberately being more respectful of your time. Treat time as something expensive and you'll always have more of it.

Because time doesn't cost much up front, we become the biggest wasters of this precious resource. We end up filling our time with non-essential activities. Then we wonder where the time has gone. And then we end up making up for lost time. When you've successfully made the best use of time, and there is spare time, that's when you can fill your schedule with minor activities. The secret to owning your time is separating the major and minor activities. Because once time gets away-it's impossible to get it back.

2) The Campbell's Soup response. I'm implying that you have a "canned" response ready at all times. Something that says "no" in a nice way. Something that says, "I can't commit to it, but if things change, I'll let you know."

Let's face it, people will ask, even pressure you to attend events and for favors that may not be for your highest good. Then we beat ourselves up for agreeing. Yet why did we agree in the first place? The next time this happens-look them dead in the eye and get out your favorite canned response and serve it. If you do this a few times, they'll get the hint. This is one surefire way to preserve your sanity.

3) Offer solutions. When you must turn someone down, you don't have to appear as the bad guy... or gal. This would disturb the relational harmony. Someday you may need a favor. The tricky part is to merge saying no: with a smiley face.

I agreed to do a short speech for Kathy. Because of certain company guidelines, she had to find a replacement. Then she tried to keep me in the picture by securing me to be her backup speaker. She cleverly proposed, "I just secured another speaker. Tommy, would you still be a backup, in case of laryngitis?"

But I saw through this charade. She wanted me around to serve in another capacity. Which was fine, but in the past this particular event was not the best use of my time and I preferred not to be there. I suggested, "Congratulations! The prescription for laryngitis is something called a microphone. I'm sure you have enough pull to fill that prescription."

Although that's probably not the right cure for laryngitis, it was a witty response to a clever question. Offering a solution will make you appear as someone who is concerned. Currently Kathy and I have a budding professional relationship. She constantly promotes me among her peers. You can't be all things to all people. You'd go nuts. Be kind and considerate when you decline and you'll benefit from budding relationships.

Tommy Yan helps business owners and entrepreneurs make more money through direct response marketing. He publishes Tommy's Tease weekly e-zine to inspire people to succeed in business and personal growth. Get your free subscription today at

By Tommy Yan

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