Saturday, June 14, 2008

Six Keys to Creating Loving Boundaries - Or Learning to Say "No"!

Where are you in life right now? What are you creating that makes you feel good. Do you find you end up doing things for others that you really don't have time or energy for? We say "yes" to doing things for other people when we really don't want to do. When that happens, we end up giving our power away. We say "yes" when we really want to create boundaries, we want to say "no".

Here are six keys to working with your inner strength in order to say "yes' to setting boundaries.

What things are draining your energy? You know, the things that you are putting up with that you would rather not. There is a cost to saying yes to these energy drains. What is it costing you? Is it costing you time? Is it costing you money? Is it causing you added stress?

The first key is about power. No, not the ability to overtake someone physically, mentally or emotionally. Power is your inner strength. Power is the ability to listen to your heart and make balanced choices in your life. Are you in touch with your inner strength? What can you do to honor this power within?

The second key is balance. What does balance mean to you? Balance is not standing on one foot or learning to walk a tight rope. Balance is the ability to look at circumstances, through the foundation of your values, and to choose the actions that do not drain your energy. From a place of balance, you can choose activities that empower you.

The third key is regarding your values. What are your values? What is important to you and how do you see the world? Value is not the price you put on something. Values are the beliefs you have that allow you to make choices from your heart and which enable you to engage in actions that bring joy and energy into your life. Limiting beliefs keep you from experiencing your deeper values. These beliefs also create resistance, which keeps you from moving forward with your desires and dreams.

The fourth key is learning to stand your ground. What does it mean to stand your ground? Standing your ground does not mean being a bully or guilting someone into doing "it" your way. When you stand your ground, you come from a place of inner power and being. When you listen to this inner power and strength, what do you notice about the way you feel? There is energy and truth that comes through you. Here, you can choose to act with balance and grace. When you say "no" to someone, say it from love and integrity. You are saying "no" in order to satisfy your balance and sense of being. You are not being mean, you are saying "yes" to your boundaries.

The fifth key is about communicating authentically. When you communicate, do your words match who you really are or are you like the Wizard of Oz saying "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain"? There is more to that giant talking head in the room. When you look at the the true person speaking, there is deeper meaning, understanding and compassion. You just have to look under the curtain to discover the true person. Communicate authentically. This means express yourself from your heart and speak through your values. The way in which you speak is very powerful. When you speak positively - positive words, positive tone and positive action - you can communicate your need for boundaries. When you say "no" to someone or something, don't make up an excuse! Be true to who you are and your words will follow.

The sixth key sums up all the other keys - trust. What does trust mean to you? What can you do to honor yourself and your choices? If you trust your inner guidance and power to speak from a place of balance, to be true to your values, to stand your ground with integrity and to communicate authentically, you will be honoring your needs.

Saying "no" is about honoring your integrity, your needs and your desire to create a happier, healthier and more balanced life. Say "yes" to giving yourself permission to set your boundaries and say "no" when you need to. If you feel you are doing a juggling act - remember - you are not a circus clown! Saying "yes" to your boundaries honors your choices and supports your ability to stop being a juggler, without dropping the ball!

By Christine Laureano

You Are An Occasion ~ Rise To It!
Create Your Best Life!

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